"Schoolboys are a merciless race, individually they are angels, but together, especially in schools, they are often merciless." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky; The Brothers Karamazov
This page will be going into a little more detail about the owner of this site, Xavier. If you don't want to read an entire page about some stranger on the internet, read this peice of life advice instead: Sleep well. Sprinkle fairy dust around your bed and succumb to slumber. Wake up tomorrow and put on your rose-colored glasses; examine your life with care and ambition. Sweet dreams.
Discussing fashion may seem redundent at the moment since I'm obviously not putting any pictures of my closet on here, but fashion is extremely important to me. Fashion is apart of lifestyle: it's how you present yourself from day to day. What you're willing to do in the morning and how you want people to see you is very telling. Before you speak to someone, you see them. Many types of fashion also derive from subcultures that revolved around politics. You should never judge somebody by their apperance, but there's nothing wrong with inferring. That is how you learn.
I adore eccentric fashion. When it comes to my personal style, I take a lot of inspiration from Japanese street fashion and Western goth/hippie fashion. I don't personally call myself any of those because, while I love people who do, I find labels to be restricting. I have a little trouble learning more about myself when I'm confining myself to a label. To be "goth" is to live a gothic lifestyle, and I'm simply not willing to do that. I would, however, call myself lolita. I'm trying to learn to sew in order to make my own lolita coords, but it's a very slow process that I have trouble keeping up with.
Again, I love unique fashion. I think there's something so beautiful about having your very own style that can't be put under a label because it's just you. For example, I love Minori's and Haruki Osawa's styles a lot. I'm also a huge fan of all of the Malice Mizer members when it comes to fashion (and everything else about them, but this isn't the right place to talk about that). Whether it be their costumes for performances or when photographers catch them on the street—I'm absolutely in love with the way they all dres. (That includes now! They may have disbanded long ago, but I keep up to date with the trio.)
I value living a life of authenticity. I hope to reach a point where I've made most my clothes and decorations one day. I find a lot of peace in the idea of sitting by a creek and painting the flowers.
Being knowledgable is also really important to me. I want to be able to understand concepts greater than myself and form my own opinions on the world, as well as use what I know to help those around me. That brings us to kindness. Above all, I want to be kind; no matter how sweet a person is, we can always be better. I want to be kind in the same way Atsushi Sakurai talks about kindness.
I want being wise and being artistic to go hand in hand. Improvement in artistic skills is a lifelong journey, as is the pursuit of wisdom. Like fashion, art is a way of life. I truly believe that art is the core of humanity. We are people before we are animals. We talk, we dance, we write, we love, we search... We were meant to create just as much as we were meant to love. To me, the circle of life is love, creation, and death. Some artsy people I respect are Jordan Clark and Robin Waldun.
I love the arts and anything "meaningful." More importantly, I love a mix of the two. The most memorable think I could spend a day doing is watching movies, listening to music, reading, etc. There is nothing in this world I love more than an anti-war song or a movie about some man's mid-life crisis. I want to indulge in as much art as possible—as much creative expression as possible— and love it. Robin Waldun once said something along the lines of, "People ask me how to stick to a book, but if you love it, how could you not?" That is how I life my life. Listen to that band. Read that book. Watch that video. Make that website. Indulge in expression. Indulge in love and art and life.
Speaking of media with meaning, I naturally want to be an artist of sorts one day. I want to dabble around in creative hobbies and make a living off of them. If not make a living, then at least have a sort of portfolio for my own collection. I want to make things that are pleasing not only to the eyes, but to the soul. I want to write stories and songs inspired by the philosophies.
Again, we are people before we are animals. Or, as five wise men once said it:
Angelic Conversation
Sympathy for the devils whom are covered in velvet
Gazing at the rising elegance
Bacchus bless the inescapable sand pit
Walking in the garden at noon, crushing mock strawberries
Interested
and ahh..
The only reason I ever really care about the personal page on a website is to maybe read about how they learned to code and see if I can apply it to my own life, so I thought I might as well put my own coding section here.
I have always loved computers. They've surrounded me my entire life, so I've naturally always been drawn to them. On top of that, knowing how to do things is very important to me. I want to learn how to make things myself more than I want to pay somebody else to fix my stuff; I think I'm just a very independent person. Coding is similar to this. With the way computers are apart of everything nowdays and how companies use them to know everything about you, it's important to me that I know how the work a computer. I want to learn how to keep my privacy as much as possible and fix my own computers.
I have a lot of trouble learning things on my own, though, so I have taken a couple short coding classes. I would like to know MUCH more in the future, but in my current situation, I think this will due. We spent a semester in that class learning about HTML. I ended up really, really loving it: and here we are! I didn't want my brand-spanking-new knowledge to go to waste, and I found lots of resources on how to learn more about CSS and HTML online, so I decided to make my own website for myself and myself only. Yay!!!
This site was coded by hand with much love and tears. Thanks so much for stopping by! Don't forget your umbrella on the way out. ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚